No Shirt = Red Flag, Asshole
I receive a “match” e-mail. The picture is hot. But he’s shirtless… We know what that means… Do we? YES into health and fitness! Never mind what my friend/ psychologist says “shirtless is a red flag- he just wants sex. What does she know? She only went to school for a degree. I’m sassy. I’m single. I have training wheels, and he’s hot. His profile is nice. Never been married. In his late 40’s? Red flag? Doesn’t want to play games. Looking for someone who feels like an old friend. Sounds good. We e-mail back and forth. Decide to meet at a nice restaurant.
He was at the bar. With a sweater he didn’t look quite as buff as picture. But oh well. There was a seat empty for me. Gave the kiss hello. Because that’s what you do, and sat down. I ordered a glass of Cabernet. We started to chat a little.
We do the “how was work” talk . Then he tells me someone cheated on him once so he has trouble trusting people. Oh, Ok. Not all people are cheaters. My ex cheated but I don’t think all people do. Why start off thinking the worst of people. Red flag? He asked me if I cook. I told him no. I cooked for my family because I felt it was nice to sit down every night for dinner. But my daughter has moved out, and I never enjoyed cooking. His answer was “you’ll cook for me”. I laughed at him. “um, no I won’t- I don’t enjoy cooking.” He said “we’ll see”. Another red flag? Is he trying to be funny? I don’t think he’s funny…
He asked what I do during the week. I laugh and smile. I tell him I’m a very busy girl. On Tuesdays I play trivia at a local place with the girls. Fridays I have a group of friends (who are like family) that I go to dinner with. And Sundays I have “family” dinner at a friend’s house. He then actually says (almost with a gangster accent) “when you’re with me this Tuesday, Friday, Sunday stuff will end”. Is he joking? Trying to be funny? Is he high? I don’t even know his last name. He is going to dictate how I spend my week? Red flag? I don’t even know how to respond. I ignore the asshole comment.
We chat some more. It’s late. I need to go. He walks me to my car. He tells me if I want to go out again to call him. I smile and tell him no, I’m not comfortable with that. If he wants to see me he has to call. That’s just how I am. He shrugs and walks away.
I go home. I’m confused. One minute he is nice. The next he seems like an asshole. The next day he texts me in the afternoon “so what are you going to cook for me tomorrow”. I respond “a second date doesn’t qualify you for a meal- lol”. He doesn’t respond. Confused again. Whatever. The following day he texts me “call me”. Is this a game? I said I don’t call. He’s forcing me to call? What is he an ass? I don’t get it. I’m annoyed at this point.
I finish work. I go home. Put on my comfy jammies and eat some leftovers. Then I call. He asks what I’m doing I tell him I just got home and ate. He gets angry and said “I thought you were cooking for me tonight?” I tell him “I believe I told you I don’t cook. And a second date doesn’t warrant cooking”. Even more pissy he informs me that we had plans.
Plans? Really? If we had plans I wouldn’t be in jammies- I’d have hair and make up done. I would look cute and know where I was going! Ok one date and this has become more BS than it’s worth. Am I actually arguing with someone I don’t know? I tell him there must be some miscommunication. He says, again with attitude ”maybe, you should check your busy schedule and let me know when your free.” I reply “I’m not” and hang up.
Should it BE this difficult? So my friend was right… No shirt = red flag. He wasn’t looking for sex, just to control my life. Hmm late forties and not married… BIG surprise!
Feel free to click “like” and if you would like to hear more of my adventures click the “follow” button on right!
Posted on April 26, 2012, in age, dating, divorce, humor, love, Match.com, On line dating, over 40, POF, relationships and tagged asholes, communication, dating, divorced, humor, match, musing, no shirt, online dating, sex&dating, women, writing. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.