The Muffin Man Act I Scene II


I decide to go out with the Muffin Man (who I met on JDate) for a second date.   No, I am not a Masochist. I just wonder if it’s me. Am I too picky?  Why am I a “one date wonder”? He e-mailed me. He’s interested, how bad can it be? Maybe he was just nervous on the first date… We arrange to meet at a nice restaurant in the city. At least I’ll have a nice meal…

The bar is full. Not one seat open. Fail. Oh, there’s the Muffin Man.  Mr. Muffin has a seat at the bar. I walk over and say hello. He asks if I would like something to drink. “Sure I’ll have a glass of Cabernet”,  I say.  He does not offer me his seat. Awkward. I steady my purse, on the crook of one arm, while trying to hold the napkin and wine he has clumsily shoved at me. I can’t even take off my coat during this balancing act. Finally the man next to my date offers me his seat. I smile sweetly as I decline. “I enjoy standing”, I say. Hindsight, the correct answer should have been” Thank you it’s so nice to see a REAL gentleman”. Mercifully the hostess came, our table was ready.

I can finally take off my coat. I’m wearing a cute grey dress and some fabulous black high heel boots. I notice a few men glance in our direction. Yes, I am making the Muffin Man look good. I think he is oblivious though. Oh well. We discuss the ride here, traffic and the weather. Freakin’ fascinating.  He then asks, “Do you know why it’s strange there is a sports team called Utah Jazz? They were originally the New Orleans Jazz before their relocation.”

“That’s interesting, but I don’t really follow football.”  I found out later that the “jazz” team is basketball. He then told me all about the “Cardinals” who moved from Chicago to St. Louis and, finally, to Phoenix. All while keeping their name. “Umm, I really don‘t follow football”, I said again with a smile. He must not have understood me because he continued to ramble about which sports teams have relocated; I think he listed seven or more.  I couldn’t care less. My mind wanders. I feel he is socially awkward, I have now diagnosed him with Asperger’s disorder (an autism spectrum disorder that is characterized by significant difficulties in social interaction, alongside restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests). It’s a big possibility. He is now rambling about retractable domes, and which stadiums have them. You lost me at “cardinals”…

My veal is excellent. I try to discuss food, the resturant… any common ground… What was it his other dates told him? That’s right… no chemistry!  I’ve got your chemistry… mix orange flavor vodka and a splash of cranberry to endure this evening! Finally! Dinner is done, we have the check, and this painfully boring, lifeless, mundane date is over!

We walk outside. He asks me where I am parked. I used the valet. He tells me he is around the corner, he’ll call me….and then, he LEAVES. YES LEAVES! I don’t know where the valet guy is. It’s cold and dark and my date has left me alone on the city street AGAIN! Who does that! The audacity! I have never had someone be so rude. Is he just that ignorant? Even friends make sure everyone is in their cars and the cars are started!

You want to talk football? Here’s your football, I am throwing in a “penalty flag” for bad manners! There won’t be a rematch! My defense is unstoppable. There will be no scoring on this field! Too bad for the Muffin Man! My offence is pretty solid too. I’ve heard I have a nice tight end! Humph!  He has been benched, taken out of the game! So run, run, run, just as fast as you can! You won’t catch me Mr. Muffin Man!

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Posted on May 12, 2012, in age, dating, divorce, J Date, Jewish dating, Jewish Singles, love, Match.com, On line dating, over 40, POF, relationships, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. I tolddd yaaa, bad idea LOL You know, you should have dumped muffin man and start a conversation with Mr. Gentleman from the bar!!! Next time, go there on your own and see if you meet him there again…or anyone else out of those who were staring at you 😉 Football, basketball…who cares!!! NO MAN talks about sports and STADIUMS (!!!!) with a woman, at least not in the first dates…God is he clueless! LOL This isn’t just lacking social skills, it’s lacking every basic skill, and good sense 😛

    • LOL, I should have listened to you Janus, but for some reason I just found ur message in Spam…fail- too late!
      ps:can we get your blog in english? I love reading it but it takes so long to translate

  2. I completely understand the “is it me?” thing. Almost every second date that I’ve been on has been a result of thinking I was being too picky on the first. Turns out, I should trust my gut.

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