Mr. Slick…The First Date

First date with Mr. Slick.  Time to shop. Red is supposed to be a power color. Studies have been done that men are attracted to red. I like red. I look good in red. I buy a red  dress.  Off the shoulder, clingy in the right spots (but not slutty),black stockings and hot black boots. A power outfit.

I meet him at the restaurant. As usual I show up 15 min early so I can get a drink and chill. Again, my date’s there before me. Fail, I’m going to have to start leaving my house earlier.  Sigh, here goes. I walk up to him do the “hug, kiss, say hello”. He asks if I want a drink. I’m quite nervous and would love me a martini as we wait for our table and make small talk.

We chat as we wait. By the time I finish my Cosmo, the hostess is ready to seat us. As we walk to the table I am realizing I didn’t eat lunch, I’m feeling my Cosmo, and I think Slick is staring at my ass as I walk. I try to walk sexy and not trip. I think it is a success.

Slick asks me if I like wine. Doesn’t everyone?  He orders a $120 bottle of wine and starts talking about which vineyards are better than others. I find that to be a little pretentious. In my experience, people who talk to impress are usually full of shit. But, the wine comes and it’s yummy.  He proceeds to tell me that he comes to this restaurant often and knows the menu by heart. He asks if I like salad. I laugh and tell him I may be 105 pounds but it’s not from eating salads, I like real food.  He asks if I like sea food. I do.  The waitress comes over and he orders for the both of us.  Hmm I never had anyone order for me before.  He’s a take charge kind of guy. I think I like that. It’s a nice change; I used to have to tell my ex-husband what he would like on a menu and what to order….

The meal comes. I have lobster, shrimp and clams in a pink vodka sauce over linguini. He’s pulling out all the stops. It’s delicious.  The conversation flows as freely as the wine. We talk about our kids, touch briefly on divorce. Talk about our jobs. And then he asks what my goals are in life.

Huh? My goals? Do I have goals? I may like another glass of wine, but I don’t think that’s where he’s going. What the hell? So I smile politely and ask what he means. He replies, “you spent the first quarter of your life doing what your parents wanted you to do, and then you spent the next quarter doing everything for your child and husband. Now that your daughter is grown and you’re divorced this is the time for you. So what do you want?”

Wow, I think that is profound! This is my time! I am woman hear me roar! Ok, maybe I won’t have another glass of wine. He makes so much sense! Although I still don’t know the answer. So again I smile, thank god for a good smile, and tell him I haven’t given it much thought….  He looked deep into my eyes and said, “I have long-term goals and short-term goals. I do  know in the very near future I want to kiss you”

My stomach got butterflies. I think I may have giggled in my head. How sweet. I don’t know what his long-term goals were because I wasn’t listening to another word he said. I was thinking of him kissing me. Cute. It was a perfect first date! He walked me to my car. And I got a hug and a kiss.

When I went home I told my 21-year-old daughter about my perfect date. Her response was, “Oh, Mom- he’s a player. Watch out!”  “What? No! He even gave me a cute little nickname! When he gave me a hug, he spun me around and said I really am little- I’m a spinner.” I told her.

My daughter looked at me as if I were an idiot. Exasperated she exclaimed “don’t you know what a spinner is?” Uhh no, but the way my kid is talking to me it can’t be good. “Mom, it’s a girl a guy can put on his lap and spin!”

Oh, yea not so good…. But never mind that, the rest of the date was awesome, and I’m going to have a second date….

Posted on May 26, 2012, in dating, divorce, humor, love, over 40, relationships, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. Love it! At least your new nickname wasn’t “Wednesday”. LoL

  2. Ok…well, you liked him, but…I’ll have to go with your daughter. Let’s hope we’re wrong, but he does sound like a player. There were a lot of things I didn’t like about him reading from your description…first of all, guys who remove their shirts are out of my list immediately. And that’s what he did when you were checking out his not-so-attractive friend, right? You should have blown him off and invested in the not-so-attractive…he’s probably more serious.

    So, in my opinion:

    1- shirt off = show off/shallow

    2- arrogant/cocky – not just because of the wine talk, but the way he approached you. Didn’t seem as respectful as it should have been, and it’s like he was saying “oh I know everything about you babe, you’re mine, conquering you is gonna be piece of cake” – you don’t know the kind of things people have told him about you…they might have maliciously told him that you’re divorced and desperate to get a man, because you’ve even subscribed to online dating sites and that you even went out with a chubby, I mean, muffin!, guy.

    3- looking at your ass – that would be good, I mean, who doesn’t feel flattered?? LOL BUT usually guys who have a character look at us without us noticing. If he was looking at you and it was blatant to you, he was probably eating you with his eyes (which, again, per se wouldn’t be so bad, right? LOL). I don’t know, maybe you’re different, but I like relationships to start with a little respect – he doesn’t know who you are, you might feel offended, so he might as well not have potentially-disrespectful attitudes. It’s ok to check out somebody’s body, but with a less “in-your-face” attitude…

    4- yeah the whole vineyard talk and also the “I always come here, know this meny by heart” seems indeed pretentious, because it sounds like a somewhat expensive restaurant according to your description, so he’s showing off AGAIN – not only about his knowledge of wines but also about having the money to come here so often that it’s not even new anymore…at that point I would have been just a little rude and asked him how many women he has already brought here in order to impress and get laid with them 😛

    5- order for you?!? Yeah…I would have left immediately. Good thing you like a guy who orders for you for a change…I find that attitude EXTREMELY impolite and again, disrespectful. You have your own tastes and your opinions, and he can’t dismiss them. Maybe he was afraid of you choosing something too expensive (although I think a woman can very well pay her half of the bill…and also, when a guy takes a woman out on a date, he should choose the place according to what he can pay)…or maybe he was being condescending. Doesn’t matter, either way he annulled you. Out of everything you’ve described so far, this was definitely the worst. This time it was just food, but I’m sure this attitude extends to other things where you have a right to voice your opinion and he’ll condescendly dismiss you…

    6- the whole goals talk and the want-to-kiss-you-in-the-near-future…argh! LOL He’s probably very charming because you fell for it, but…for all these things, it sounds like a disgusting guy who’s been reading that disgusting book, “The Game” ( and applying its techniques on you as if you’re a lab rat 😛

    7- oh, the spinner remark!!! MY GOD, WOMAN!!! Well, it comes as no surprise after those 6 other things you mentioned…who knows, maybe you like that type of guy, maybe he’ll get to know you and fall for you, or maybe it’ll be sexual only and you’ll love it (I don’t know what your objectives are when looking for another guy – do you want something serious or just fleeting fun?). But he’s definitely very far from Mr. Right…I still think you should have “invested” on his friend that ended up becoming just part of the background after mr. shirtless arrived…

  3. Personally, I feel it sounded like a nice first date. People that can afford the finer things in life do. Just because he knows about vinyards doesn’t make him a player….it could possibly make him well rounded. Ordering for you in a restaurant doesn’t make him controlling at this point….if you can’t go out with your friends ….that’s another story. The ordering for you thing is charming.
    A spinner…..what would a good game be without a spinner? He sounds quick witted, interesting, a gentlemen, and worthy of another date with no judgement.
    Good looks, confidence, and funny…..sounds like a good match so far!
    Sending you luck! 🙂

  4. You had a good time and felt good in his company. He didn’t put pressure on you and wants to see you again. If you like him go for it and let things happen.

  5. I can’t wait to see what happens on the second date. I hope it happens soon! I think it might be too soon to buy a dress for the wedding…I will just have to wait!!!

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