After my awesome first date with Mr. Slick…I texted him the next day. “Thanks, I had a really nice time”. It took a few days, but Slick texted me back. I saw the text; I knew it was from him, I instantly had butterflies in my stomach. He had been very busy with work, but we set up a date for the following week.
The day of my date came. I prepped. I was extremely nervous! In fact I stopped at a friend’s house on the way to have a drink and say hello. We talked about how long it had been since I was on a decent date or anything else…. I was excited… who knew what may happen…I really kind of liked this guy. Then I went on my way, with the promise to text my friend and let her know how it went.
When I got to the restaurant, Slick was at the bar. I smiled. He said “you’re late”.
I frowned, “No, I’m punctual. In fact I am exactly on time. It is 7:30 on the button.” He checked his phone and low and behold I was right. Now I get the “hello, how are you”
Ok, whatever, I order my drink. We discuss the food and what’s good. He tells me what he thinks I would like. That’s nice… but I have been here before and order what I know I would like. I think I saw a little frown in his eyebrows… Odd. He checks his cell phone several times and answers a call even. I find that rude. My phone is off. Business. He needs to take a few calls. Ok.
He starts to tell me how stressful his job is. Between all the travelling and deals he is working on. He said he felt like the guy at the circus, balancing and spinning plates. “But you’re just a hairdresser, so you really don’t know stress do you?” he said.
Seriously, those may be fighting words. “Let’s see…. I was a wife, a mother, ran a household while simultaneously owning and operating two separate businesses. JUST a hairdresser? Two businesses inventory, accounting, payroll, invoices, dealing with staff at two separate places hiring/ firing… I could keep going. Umm yea I think I can comprehend stress even though I’m just a hairdresser”
He changed the subject. He started discussing college. He was in the top 2%of his class. Oops cell again. I have another drink while I wait for him to finish. Call done. … He graduated Magna Com Laude. And then, I think he actually smirked and asked “did you do the college thing?” Really, REALLY? Is he being condescending toward me? I am a business owner, I am well-known for my involvement in the community, and I volunteer. What I did for education 20 years ago doesn’t define me as a person. I am jerked. I get quiet. I think he is a big douche bag! And at 46 if his claim to fame is college well that’s sad. I have far more accomplishments than that.
I guess I started to look annoyed. Again he changed the subject. I think he even tried to apologies. Rambling, about men sometimes sticking their feet in their mouth. Blah, Blah Blah. Over time I softened. The rest of the conversation went well. However the words were still in the back of my head.
It was time to go. He walked me to my car and gave me a kiss. It was nice. Then he asked me where I lived. I told him just 5 min. away. He asked if he was going to get to come by and see my house. I guess he didn’t learn in college if you are thinking of getting somewhere with a woman you shouldn’t insult her…
I smiled oh so sweetly, cocked my head and replied “see my house? Hmmm, not on a second date” And with that I got in my car and left.
Confused. How could someone have the perfect first date and then be a douche bag on the second. Maybe it is just stupid guy talk and he didn’t get how insulting he was. He was so nice before…
I text my friend: the eagle is going back to the nest alone….
I receive a “match” e-mail. The picture is hot. But he’s shirtless… We know what that means… Do we? YES into health and fitness! Never mind what my friend/ psychologist says “shirtless is a red flag- he just wants sex. What does she know? She only went to school for a degree. I’m sassy. I’m single. I have training wheels, and he’s hot. His profile is nice. Never been married. In his late 40’s? Red flag? Doesn’t want to play games. Looking for someone who feels like an old friend. Sounds good. We e-mail back and forth. Decide to meet at a nice restaurant.
He was at the bar. With a sweater he didn’t look quite as buff as picture. But oh well. There was a seat empty for me. Gave the kiss hello. Because that’s what you do, and sat down. I ordered a glass of Cabernet. We started to chat a little.
We do the “how was work” talk . Then he tells me someone cheated on him once so he has trouble trusting people. Oh, Ok. Not all people are cheaters. My ex cheated but I don’t think all people do. Why start off thinking the worst of people. Red flag? He asked me if I cook. I told him no. I cooked for my family because I felt it was nice to sit down every night for dinner. But my daughter has moved out, and I never enjoyed cooking. His answer was “you’ll cook for me”. I laughed at him. “um, no I won’t- I don’t enjoy cooking.” He said “we’ll see”. Another red flag? Is he trying to be funny? I don’t think he’s funny…
He asked what I do during the week. I laugh and smile. I tell him I’m a very busy girl. On Tuesdays I play trivia at a local place with the girls. Fridays I have a group of friends (who are like family) that I go to dinner with. And Sundays I have “family” dinner at a friend’s house. He then actually says (almost with a gangster accent) “when you’re with me this Tuesday, Friday, Sunday stuff will end”. Is he joking? Trying to be funny? Is he high? I don’t even know his last name. He is going to dictate how I spend my week? Red flag? I don’t even know how to respond. I ignore the asshole comment.
We chat some more. It’s late. I need to go. He walks me to my car. He tells me if I want to go out again to call him. I smile and tell him no, I’m not comfortable with that. If he wants to see me he has to call. That’s just how I am. He shrugs and walks away.
I go home. I’m confused. One minute he is nice. The next he seems like an asshole. The next day he texts me in the afternoon “so what are you going to cook for me tomorrow”. I respond “a second date doesn’t qualify you for a meal- lol”. He doesn’t respond. Confused again. Whatever. The following day he texts me “call me”. Is this a game? I said I don’t call. He’s forcing me to call? What is he an ass? I don’t get it. I’m annoyed at this point.
I finish work. I go home. Put on my comfy jammies and eat some leftovers. Then I call. He asks what I’m doing I tell him I just got home and ate. He gets angry and said “I thought you were cooking for me tonight?” I tell him “I believe I told you I don’t cook. And a second date doesn’t warrant cooking”. Even more pissy he informs me that we had plans.
Plans? Really? If we had plans I wouldn’t be in jammies- I’d have hair and make up done. I would look cute and know where I was going! Ok one date and this has become more BS than it’s worth. Am I actually arguing with someone I don’t know? I tell him there must be some miscommunication. He says, again with attitude ”maybe, you should check your busy schedule and let me know when your free.” I reply “I’m not” and hang up.
Should it BE this difficult? So my friend was right… No shirt = red flag. He wasn’t looking for sex, just to control my life. Hmm late forties and not married… BIG surprise!
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