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Mr Slick…Date Two…


 

 

 

 

 

 

After my awesome first date with Mr. Slick…I texted him the next day.  “Thanks, I had a really nice time”.  It took a few days, but Slick texted me back. I saw the text; I knew it was from him, I instantly had butterflies in my stomach. He had been very busy with work, but we set up a date for the following week.

The day of my date came. I prepped. I was extremely nervous! In fact I stopped at a friend’s house on the way to have a drink and say hello. We talked about how long it had been since I was on a decent date or anything else…. I was excited… who knew what may happen…I really kind of liked this guy. Then I went on my way, with the promise to text my friend and let her know how it went.

When I got to the restaurant, Slick was at the bar. I smiled.  He said “you’re late”.

I frowned, “No, I’m punctual. In fact I am exactly on time. It is 7:30 on the button.” He checked his phone and low and behold I was right. Now I get the “hello, how are you”

Ok, whatever, I order my drink. We discuss the food and what’s good. He tells me what he thinks I would like. That’s nice… but I have been here before and order what I know I would like. I think I saw a little frown in his eyebrows… Odd. He checks his cell phone several times and answers a call even. I find that rude. My phone is off. Business. He needs to take a few calls. Ok.

He starts to tell me how stressful his job is. Between all the travelling and deals he is working on. He said he felt like the guy at the circus, balancing and spinning plates. “But you’re just a hairdresser, so you really don’t know stress do you?” he said.

Seriously, those may be fighting words. “Let’s see…. I was a wife, a mother, ran a household while simultaneously owning and operating two separate businesses. JUST a hairdresser? Two businesses inventory, accounting, payroll, invoices, dealing with staff at two separate places hiring/ firing… I could keep going.  Umm yea I think I can comprehend stress even though I’m just a hairdresser”

He changed the subject. He started discussing college. He was in the top 2%of his class. Oops cell again. I have another drink while I wait for him to finish. Call done. … He graduated Magna Com Laude. And then, I think he actually smirked and asked “did you do the college thing?” Really, REALLY? Is he being condescending toward me? I am a business owner, I am well-known for my involvement in the community, and I volunteer. What I did for education 20 years ago doesn’t define me as a person.  I am jerked. I get quiet. I think he is a big douche bag! And at 46 if his claim to fame is college well that’s sad. I have far more accomplishments than that.

I guess I started to look annoyed. Again he changed the subject. I think he even tried to apologies. Rambling, about men sometimes sticking their feet in their mouth. Blah, Blah Blah. Over time I softened. The rest of the conversation went well. However the words were still in the back of my head.

It was time to go. He walked me to my car and gave me a kiss. It was nice. Then he asked me where I lived. I told him just 5 min. away. He asked if he was going to get to come by and see my house. I guess he didn’t learn in college if you are thinking of getting somewhere with a woman you shouldn’t insult her…

I smiled oh so sweetly, cocked my head and replied “see my house? Hmmm, not on a second date” And with that I got in my car and left.

Confused. How could someone have the perfect first date and then be a douche bag on the second. Maybe it is just stupid guy talk and he didn’t get how insulting he was. He was so nice before…

I text my friend: the eagle is going back to the nest alone….

Am I A Trophy????


Age, is it just a number? I don’t think so. I’m in my forties. Forty-one to be exact. When I think of the correct age demographic for me I feel it should be around 40-55 give a few years in either direction.

So what the hell are men thinking? I’m just saying. I go out, and the men hitting on me are either in their 70’s or 20’s. That’s a big stretch. So I should be a trophy or a cougar?

I do love my old men. Just not in that way. I see them out. We chat it up. They buy me drinks. Just so you know, every so often I buy them one back. They say I shouldn’t. But, hell it’s just good business. I get 10-1 on my investment. The other girls just accept the drinks and move on because these guys are old. I enjoy their conversation, that’s all. I buy them a drink to show I’m a friend and that’s it. Not sure that point is getting across though. One of my older friends told me his other friend was interested in me and he was putting out “feelers” to see if I felt the same.

Umm huh? You mean the guy with white hair who winters in Florida and is retired and I have heard him speak of a girlfriend? Sooo my friend says, “OOH the girl friend, yea he’s done with her spending all his money” Ok we just dropped the hint that he has a lot of money. Well, I don’t hang out in shabby places… “how old is he?”, I asked. My friend says 71. SEVENTY ONE???? Come on? Really? My Dad is 78. That’s just wrong. So very sweetly I respond “he seems like a very nice man…but I just think that’s a stretch…”

When prompted I explained, 20 years from now I’ll be 61 and if he’s not dead he’ll be 91, I would either be taking care of him or starting over…

The response: “thats what the problem is with women, they are always thinking of the future. Live for today!”

HA!!! Had I thought like this 20 years ago, I wouldn’t be where I am today! I feel my best years were wasted. I’m 41. Yes, I am working really hard to keep my stuff looking young. But, I have a window. I won’t look like this forever. This shit is going to fall at some point. I don’t want to be doing this again in 20 years. At my age I can’t afford to waste  time. And not for nothing…I’m not a gold digger. I can’t just have a guy buying me stuff. I work hard for all I have. I feel that it is  just using someone to go out with them for a little while to get what you can out of them. It would be bad karma… It’s wrong. An,d when I was much younger I worked in a nursing home. Just saying…I know what that shit looks like and there isn’t enough money in the world for that! ICK!!!

Old is sometimes too old. I have found the 40/50-year-old men are looking for women in their 20/30’s. Do they realise these women want families and children? So that leaves me the 60/70 year olds? I think not.

I would rather stay home alone and read “Fifty Shades Of Grey”.

How I Met Mr. Slick


 

 

 

I was sitting at a restaurant bar with two of my friends. I had a crush on a guy I had met a few weeks prior. He was there. I was scoping him out. I asked my friends what they thought of him. One of my friends answered “Never mind him, check out the guy in the striped shirt that just walked in.”  Ok, cute… but still checking out my crush.  And wouldn’t you know the guy in the striped shirt sat next to Crush Guy.

My friends and I were laughing and talking, I occasionally glanced at Crush Guy.  After about an hour the guy in the striped shirt was suddenly standing in front of me. He looked me in the eyes and called me by my name. My first and last name. Umm, Oh shit, I thought, do I know him? Was I drunk and don’t remember? Should I be embarrassed?

Tentatively, I asked “Do I know you?” He said “No, but I know about you. I’ve done my homework and asked around.”  Hmmm, I looked him up and down, yea he’s good looking.  But what did he hear about me? Who did he ask? What does he know? Ugghhhh was I drunk, those damn martinis!

So as cute as I could, I cocked my head and said, “I’m sure you have only heard good things…” “How could it be anything but good? “, he asked. The playful banter continued for a little bit. Then he said “There’s one thing I do know …” I answered, “Really what’s that?” He replied, “I want to take you to dinner.”

Oh, I was totally caught off guard.  We were only talking for about 20 minutes.  The way he sauntered over. Knew things about me, his smile, his confidence…He was slick.  I was definitely intrigued… I agreed. I gave him my number.  And that’s how I met Mr. Slick.

So I wondered would he call? When would he call? Will he follow that “3 day wait before calling rule”? Oh I hate the wondering and waiting part. In fact if any men are reading this…”wait three day” thing is bullshit. We meet you, and we are excited the next day thinking about you. Day two it kind of fades…Day three we are not caring so much. No need to go out the next day… but the call or text is nice, we don’t think you are desperate.  Just saying….

So… by day five, I had figured it was just bullshit and he wasn’t calling. Then, he called. It was good timing. I was on my way home from my failed Muffin Man date. Anyone would have sounded fantastic.  He wanted to take me to a very nice upscale restaurant. My dates may suck, but I do seem to be eating very well! So, we make plans, I’ll meet him.

My first date sweater hasn’t been working so well for me. I think this calls for a new outfit. Oooh I’m excited. I’m not sure which I’m more excited about… shopping or Slick.

I guess we’ll see….

The Muffin Man Act I Scene II


I decide to go out with the Muffin Man (who I met on JDate) for a second date.   No, I am not a Masochist. I just wonder if it’s me. Am I too picky?  Why am I a “one date wonder”? He e-mailed me. He’s interested, how bad can it be? Maybe he was just nervous on the first date… We arrange to meet at a nice restaurant in the city. At least I’ll have a nice meal…

The bar is full. Not one seat open. Fail. Oh, there’s the Muffin Man.  Mr. Muffin has a seat at the bar. I walk over and say hello. He asks if I would like something to drink. “Sure I’ll have a glass of Cabernet”,  I say.  He does not offer me his seat. Awkward. I steady my purse, on the crook of one arm, while trying to hold the napkin and wine he has clumsily shoved at me. I can’t even take off my coat during this balancing act. Finally the man next to my date offers me his seat. I smile sweetly as I decline. “I enjoy standing”, I say. Hindsight, the correct answer should have been” Thank you it’s so nice to see a REAL gentleman”. Mercifully the hostess came, our table was ready.

I can finally take off my coat. I’m wearing a cute grey dress and some fabulous black high heel boots. I notice a few men glance in our direction. Yes, I am making the Muffin Man look good. I think he is oblivious though. Oh well. We discuss the ride here, traffic and the weather. Freakin’ fascinating.  He then asks, “Do you know why it’s strange there is a sports team called Utah Jazz? They were originally the New Orleans Jazz before their relocation.”

“That’s interesting, but I don’t really follow football.”  I found out later that the “jazz” team is basketball. He then told me all about the “Cardinals” who moved from Chicago to St. Louis and, finally, to Phoenix. All while keeping their name. “Umm, I really don‘t follow football”, I said again with a smile. He must not have understood me because he continued to ramble about which sports teams have relocated; I think he listed seven or more.  I couldn’t care less. My mind wanders. I feel he is socially awkward, I have now diagnosed him with Asperger’s disorder (an autism spectrum disorder that is characterized by significant difficulties in social interaction, alongside restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests). It’s a big possibility. He is now rambling about retractable domes, and which stadiums have them. You lost me at “cardinals”…

My veal is excellent. I try to discuss food, the resturant… any common ground… What was it his other dates told him? That’s right… no chemistry!  I’ve got your chemistry… mix orange flavor vodka and a splash of cranberry to endure this evening! Finally! Dinner is done, we have the check, and this painfully boring, lifeless, mundane date is over!

We walk outside. He asks me where I am parked. I used the valet. He tells me he is around the corner, he’ll call me….and then, he LEAVES. YES LEAVES! I don’t know where the valet guy is. It’s cold and dark and my date has left me alone on the city street AGAIN! Who does that! The audacity! I have never had someone be so rude. Is he just that ignorant? Even friends make sure everyone is in their cars and the cars are started!

You want to talk football? Here’s your football, I am throwing in a “penalty flag” for bad manners! There won’t be a rematch! My defense is unstoppable. There will be no scoring on this field! Too bad for the Muffin Man! My offence is pretty solid too. I’ve heard I have a nice tight end! Humph!  He has been benched, taken out of the game! So run, run, run, just as fast as you can! You won’t catch me Mr. Muffin Man!

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